Day Two: And Then There Was Alcohol

Hi, today was very successful writing-wise. I wrote the ending of my book. Good job me. So then I tried to drink wine, but realized that at least one of my six corkscrews is not here so instead I drank whisky and made up names for characters.

Let me just tell you, it is very fun to name children that don’t actually exist. Also, people will name their kids some vey weird things. I have just spent the past hour on a baby name site. I’m writing like sci-fi, so really I can name characters whatever I damn well choose, but I havent even had to make up a name yet because there is some crazy stuff out there. By far my favorite so far is
probably Tömörbatar or maybe Eustaquio. Those are going to be some great charcaters. I may rewrite the whole damn thing and just call it, The Epic Adventures of Tömörbatar and Eustaquio! I’d read that book. Definitely.

In other news, I should like paint stuff or hang up clothes, but to be perfectly honest I am still wearing my pajamas and it is Friday night so… nah.

Also, in another strange turn of events I have gone back to college mentally and started eating Party Pizzas again and I would like to take this time to write a strongly worded letter to the Party Pizza People and say that I ordered a pepperoni pizza tonight and it definitely had sausage on it. I am very upset. It’s not that I mind sausage,it’s just like, Yo, where is my pepperoni?

See?

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Ok, I just checked the box and realized it was a Triple Meat Party Pizza so I will not be writing that letter today.

I am drinking whisky out of like the cutest class you have ever seen. How is it that I don’t own a wine screw but I have a goddamn appertif glass? What is wrong with me. This is not very Hemingwayian. Also, fun fact, Hemingway did not write for children. Children are weird. Am I facing some sort of genetical mid-life-mid-life crisis. OH well. I get to write about someone I just named Joosseppii. Life is great.

This is that cute glass I was talking about:

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You know what would be fun? Why don’t you guys name some people for me? Yeah. Ever known a really great name? Send it to me and I’ll name a character in my book that. I’m not even kidding. Mostly I need girls names. Just send me a crazy-ass grills name and I’ll put it in this damn book.

I’m going to post some pictures so you guys can see my life. Ok, friends and people. I’m gonna keep making up names for people. One day people may or may not call me a genius, but you guys. You guys will know the truth.

Also, please observe the wreckage that is my pantry. You know what they say about on’s pantry being a gateway into one’s mind?

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Ok, they dont say anything about that. But how am I supposed to live like this?!

(Actually… see that tiny jar right there in the middle? That’s something they call Cookiebutter which I am most upset to find out exists only this week, but my dad bought me at Trader Joe’s and let me tell you, it is the key to happiness… so really I’m doing just fine.)

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