Ok, I’m only human, but, as far as being human goes, I’m pretty flawed.
I’ve made a fair few mistakes and, for some reason this time of year brings out the worst in me. So… Needlessly, I’ve been kind of a mess.
(And I’m sorry to everyone whom I have hurt because of it!)
I worked really hard last Thursday to finish Chapter 17 and that puts me FIVE chapters away from being done with my manuscript. The more I look at things, though, the more flaws I see.
Every level of my life hits a crushing point. I’m not trying to complain. I’m merely pointing out that my life is hanging by a thread, the crux of which is my writing… Which is all well and good, but the writing itself has so much wrong with it.
Am I ever going to get anywhere with this? Have I used this feeble thread to try and hold the entirety of my life together? Oh man, I need to get it together. The more I hang on the thin line of my writing, the more I feel the line grown taut with stress. It can’t hold it all.
If everything is riding on my writing then my writing is sure to fall apart.
That’s why… I’m going to finish this draft and shelf it. Not shelve it forever. But I think it needs fresh perspective. It needs the perspective of being in a better place. Meaning, I gotta get my life together so that everything isn’t riding on this one book. If I tried to do anything with it right now… I think I’d be pushing myself to the brink of devastation.
So… after these final chapters are drafted, I will be moving on in every sense of the word.